This draft is still not what I would consider a finalized draft. I expanded a bit from my first draft on one of the resources being anaylyzed but didn't do much expanding on the other resources. Also, I still need to finalize my works cited page. There are two types of citing throughout the paper (sec and par) because one of the resources was broken up into sections and not paragraphs (so this is correct).
I would like the peer revising to provide me with ways I can make the paper a little more clear and give me examples of points that could be expanded on.
Showing posts with label Unit 2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unit 2. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
3/09/09
This is a first draft for 3/9/09. I will attempt to add to and finalize a new draft within the next week.
I think the peice needs a bit more assessment of authors' stylistic elements and overall analysis of the arguments made. Also, I feel the paper is a bit jumpy and could use better organization.
Please let me know if there is any advise that could be useful to help me better organize the paper and argument analysis.
I think the peice needs a bit more assessment of authors' stylistic elements and overall analysis of the arguments made. Also, I feel the paper is a bit jumpy and could use better organization.
Please let me know if there is any advise that could be useful to help me better organize the paper and argument analysis.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
3/4/09
The authors of each of my sources seem to have a passion for impacting the current issues related to childhood obesity and use this passion in their first hand accounts dealing with the subject in order to promote a positive change to the issue. The authors often use statistics throughout their rhetoric to emphasize the point trying to be made, and develop ethos by presenting themselves as knowledgeable people with first hand experience dealing with researching the subject.
The authors also use strong words to describe the [so called] epidemic of childhood obesity in the US and the prevalence of potential complications. Each of them touch on the concern for furture problems, such as 1/3 of the generation living a shorter, less healthy, and more disease ridden life than previous generations.
The authors also use strong words to describe the [so called] epidemic of childhood obesity in the US and the prevalence of potential complications. Each of them touch on the concern for furture problems, such as 1/3 of the generation living a shorter, less healthy, and more disease ridden life than previous generations.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
2/25/09
During my research, I discovered that there were not very many primary sources on my subject other than research articles that I could gather from the TCU library website. Trying to find artciles on the complications associated with childhood obesity, specifically those that mentioned type 2 diabetes, was suprisingly difficult. Most of the articles related the diabetes to other things such as breast feeding. I was able to find one primary source that was not a research article:a transcrpit of a Capitol Hill Hearing Testimony about childhood obesety.
The sources gave a lot of statistical information related to studying obesity in children, factors that are correlated with the obesity in children, and the potential problems that could come from the population of obese children. It is hard to find subjective views of the subject in the articles and transcript, although they each seem to be expressing concern for the increasing prevalance of obese children and the associated complications.
The sources gave a lot of statistical information related to studying obesity in children, factors that are correlated with the obesity in children, and the potential problems that could come from the population of obese children. It is hard to find subjective views of the subject in the articles and transcript, although they each seem to be expressing concern for the increasing prevalance of obese children and the associated complications.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
2/18/09 - Topic
I am torn between two different topics: the effects of the media on childhood obesity/nutiritional status in the US or The resons that type 2 diabetes is increasing in American children. With both of these topics, I could focus in on a specific age group of children, the complications that come from obesity or type 2 diabetes specifically, and perhaps a certain ethnic group susceptible to either of these.
Although I am torn, I will most likely choose the topic of "The reasons that type 2 diabetes is increasing in American Chilren ages _ to _ living under or at the poverty level" This will give me the ability to research articles and primary resources related to several reasons for type 2 diabetes in this population and the implications of associated complications. These topics are of interest to me because I am concerned about the statistics implying that half of the current US population is obese, and that one third of children born in the year 2000 or later will have diabetes. These statistics are important because both of these health conditions cause many other health and lifestyle related complications. Taxpayer dollars will inevitably pay for these complications, and one must ask the question, "will the US be able to sustain that many people medically?" Hopefully, the correct research can be done to determine, or prove, how we can effectively reverse the steady increase in obesity and type 2 diabetes in the US.
Although I am torn, I will most likely choose the topic of "The reasons that type 2 diabetes is increasing in American Chilren ages _ to _ living under or at the poverty level" This will give me the ability to research articles and primary resources related to several reasons for type 2 diabetes in this population and the implications of associated complications. These topics are of interest to me because I am concerned about the statistics implying that half of the current US population is obese, and that one third of children born in the year 2000 or later will have diabetes. These statistics are important because both of these health conditions cause many other health and lifestyle related complications. Taxpayer dollars will inevitably pay for these complications, and one must ask the question, "will the US be able to sustain that many people medically?" Hopefully, the correct research can be done to determine, or prove, how we can effectively reverse the steady increase in obesity and type 2 diabetes in the US.
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